What ever happened to our New Year’s resolutions?

“Nothing in the world is as long as the path from a good intention to a good deed.”
– Norwegian proverb

The turn of the year invites us to pause, look back on the past year, and venture a glimpse into the new year, which still lies before us like a blank page full of possibilities. So is this the right moment to tackle changing our lifestyle habits? Yet the resolutions we make spontaneously in this spirit usually don’t stand up to the test of everyday life for very long. So how can we actually make our desires for change a reality?

Gyms, clubs, and health apps see a surge in new sign-ups in January from people interested in getting fit, but by March, most of them are nothing more than names in their membership files. More exercise, healthier eating, less stress, and more time for family and friends are among the most common New Year’s resolutions year after year. At their core, these resolutions are about self-reflection, improving our health and well-being, and focusing on the people who matter to us. However, these well-intentioned resolutions in particular also carry the risk of causing additional stress, since changing lifestyle habits is a difficult task. The result is that we give up on our plans after a short time and end up feeling frustrated because we haven’t managed to stick to them (yet again).

Making Wishes Come True—But How?

The first step is to clarify your own motivation: Why do I actually want to change something in my life? Do I have a personal need to actively reshape my life? Do I want to try something new? Do I want to meet the expectations of others or conform to social norms? Is it actually a matter of a lack of self-acceptance? Or am I driven by the fear of negative consequences resulting from my past behavior?
Perhaps the result of my reflection is that I’m actually satisfied with myself and my life—or that I want something completely different. That would be an important realization. However, if I realize that a strong, personal desire is guiding me and motivating me to make a change, then it’s worth taking the next step of focusing on that goal and moving forward with further planning. Only when the goal seems worthwhile to us will we be able to incorporate changes into our daily lives and make a personal—and perhaps uncomfortable—effort.

The goal should be realistically achievable and easily compatible with your other living conditions and daily routines. Putting it in writing helps make it more concrete. For example, the general goal of exercising more can be turned into the specific plan: “I will go jogging every Wednesday at 7 p.m.” Unrealistic long-term goals—such as running a marathon after just two months—may be tempting, but they can also quickly lead to disappointment. It’s better to take small steps and set achievable intermediate goals, for which we can repeatedly “pat ourselves on the back” and reward ourselves with small treats.

The journey doesn’t necessarily have to be long or arduous. However, careful planning can contribute significantly to success.

These include:

a clearly defined goal that motivates us along the way
a realistic assessment of our available time and energy
a carefully chosen start time
a concrete plan involving small steps and intermediate goals
addressing potential obstacles
A periodic review of our current status so that we can adjust our goals and approach as needed.

Plan for some fun

One effective trick is to associate what we initially find difficult with something that evokes positive feelings in us. If we find a sport that isn’t just a chore but is also fun, if we watch our favorite TV show while on the exercise bike, get together with others to cook healthy meals, plan a shared activity with a partner or friend, or spend time with the kids—it no longer feels like a chore, but rather like valuable free time that enhances our quality of life. It’s also helpful to find companions with whom we can meet up, share experiences, motivate each other, and get through those little slumps.

Dealing with Obstacles and Setbacks

However, despite all our careful consideration and planning, we may still take a step backward, fail to achieve our goals, or have our plans derailed by unforeseen events. In such cases, it’s important to accept the situation as it is. Blaming ourselves or clinging to goals and paths that no longer serve us doesn’t help—it only adds to our burden. So let’s be kind to ourselves and take another look at the ground we’ve covered. From this perspective, we may gain new insights that we can then carry forward as experience and tools for the future
. If new priorities arise in the current situation, we should follow them and either abandon or adjust our previous goal. But if our desire and the goal we set for ourselves are still worth pursuing, then it’s worth simply starting over and making a new plan. Perhaps on our next attempt, we’ll get a little further and a little closer to our goal. So why wait until the end of next year?

A Saying on New Year's Eve (Erich Kästner)
You shouldn't burden the year with plans like a sick horse.
If you weigh it down too much, it will eventually collapse.

The more ambitious the plans, the trickier the execution.
You set out to do your best, and in the end, you’re left with a mess.

There's not much point in blushing with shame. It does no good, and it only does harm to
make a thousand resolutions. Forget the plan! Just start making improvements right away!