The “Rainbow 3.0” Project—An Interview with Staff Members Jacqueline and Vivien Ritter

Just under 1.8 million people in Germany are living with dementia (see BMFSFJ 2022). These experiences are as diverse as the needs and life stories of people with dementia. In Germany, about 7.4% of the population identifies as part of the queer community (Süddeutsche Zeitung Jetzt 2016). This includes about one million older adults who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex (LGBTI) (AWO Federal Association). We spoke with Jacqueline and Vivien Ritter from the “Regenbogen 3.0” project about open senior care services for queer seniors and explored how family members and senior care facilities can offer support.

There are, of course, a wide variety of activities available for seniors, whether it’s game nights, coffee gatherings, or craft groups. However, groups specifically for queer seniors are still rare. How did it come about that you launched a special program for LGBTI* seniors in Oldenburg?

Jacqueline Ritter (JR): Well, that’s really something that doesn’t exist yet—at least not in Oldenburg. Although, statistically speaking, approximately 3,300 seniors in the city are members of the LGBTI* community. In Germany, there are already some individual projects like this, but they aren’t yet widespread. I took over the “Hand in Hand” community-based senior care project in Donnerschwee back in June 2020. At some point, though, I thought, “What about queer seniors?” I’m part of the community myself, but I’m not that well-connected, so I asked at Hempels. When I got there, they told me, “Nope, there’s no such offer. But thanks for caring about our future.”
Vivien Ritter (VR): Even among the people marching in the CSD in Oldenburg, I’d say almost half are over 50. But you don’t notice them at all during the rest of the year. Sure, a lot of schools are participating, and I’m sure there are some parents there, too. But there are also a lot of older gay and lesbian people who take part. But you have to wonder, “Where are they? Why isn’t there anything there?”
And then it just made sense for us to offer something to the community that came from the community itself.

So, with this project, you’re not just offering recreational activities, but rather a space where people can interact with one another?

JR: Yes, exactly, a safe space. That’s what this project is ultimately all about. Of course, my greatest hope is that we won’t need it, but we still do. Society isn’t quite there yet.
VR: That’s also one of the pieces of feedback we’ve received—the fact that we performed as a duo really took a lot of the pressure off. So it’s not someone from outside who wants to offer something.JR: And that really opened the door. Actually, this offer is intended for people over the age of 65. However, many younger people also attended the first few meetings because, while there aren’t many activities available for this group, there is a desire to connect with others. That’s why our new target audience includes people aged 50 and older.

That sounds like you’re surprised?

JR: The first meeting was truly overwhelming. About ten to twelve people had registered, but ten more showed up without registering. We had actually planned to have a casual coffee get-together, but then quickly changed our plans and suggested a separate planning meeting. So there were just under 30 of us.

So, you’ve decided not to set any rules, but to plan activities together?

JR: It’s a strong, self-organized community—nobody did that for them. Ultimately, we’re just providing the platform. We don’t want to take anything away or say, “You need this!” That’s why we took the time to conduct surveys and hold planning meetings. It’s important for us to find out what people’s ideas and interests are.

Board of Directors: Socializing and group activities were the focus of the planning meeting. But there is also a desire for input.
JR: Creative get-togethers, social gatherings, exercise, game nights, and cooking together were the first ideas. Escaping loneliness is always a major issue, which is why participants join the project.

In old age, in addition to the desire to interact with others, there is usually also the challenge of needing care and assistance. Is there anything facilities can keep in mind when welcoming LGBTI* seniors?

VR: I think it’s important to ask, “What matters to you, and what should others know about you?” So that any reservations on the part of the nursing staff can be overcome. Is there anywhere I can indicate that I’m a lesbian and don’t want to be touched by male nursing staff? But often, these aren’t even specific issues facing the LGBTQ+ community that become important as we age, but rather the classic issues of aging—such as power of attorney, applying for a care level designation, and so on.
JR: I’m not sure how gender-sensitive care works either, but I’m getting feedback from the network that the facilities are, of course, taking steps in that direction as well. But of course, there are concerns like that—can you display your wedding photo at a nursing home? Will people look at me funny or discriminate against me there?

How can we address these concerns or counteract them?

VR: Images and symbols are always great ways to create visibility and make a presence known. This is also very clear from the conversations with the participants: The group wants to be seen and included in the decision-making process. It’s relatively easy to do this—for example, by not assuming that everyone is heterosexual. During a counseling session, for example, you might say, “You can talk to your husband or wife about that again.” It’s not supposed to be a special satellite, but rather something that’s taken into account as part of the standard plan.
JR: For example, I recently saw a commercial where two men who were very close were drinking coffee together. That really stands out and draws attention. And language is, of course, always an issue. When gender-neutral language is used, people feel included.

How can family members offer support when loved ones—perhaps especially older adults—confide in them and come out?

VR: Let’s start a conversation! I think it’s very important to talk to people and ask questions like: “What are the other person’s needs?”, “What does that mean for them?”, “Should anything change?”, “How would they like to be addressed?” But just because someone comes out doesn’t necessarily mean that anything has to change.
JR: It’s really hard to make general statements about that. I always think openness is very important. And to focus on the fact that this is about someone who is important to me. Maybe I’ll discover a new side to their personality, but in the end, what matters most to me is that they’re doing well. And if I can support that person by talking to them—or, especially when it comes to trans identities, by using and acknowledging their new name and using the correct pronouns—then the path is already paved.
VR: I also think openness on both sides is important. To see what makes a person happy at that moment and to acknowledge their wishes. Very often, our own fears are involved as well—and that’s why I think it’s important to ask yourself: “Is this just a fear of getting too close, or are these actually things that have anything to do with my relationship with the other person?”

So, does that also mean taking more personal responsibility and asking, “How does this actually affect me, and why?”

VR: Yes, exactly. For example, if the mother comes out, it doesn’t change the mother-daughter relationship at all. But of course, you can take a moment to reflect and ask yourself, “What exactly is bothering me, and why?” If I have prejudices, is it because of my religion, or am I perhaps afraid for that person? And then, of course, it’s important to talk to the other person.

With the “Regenbogen 3.0” project, you’re laying a solid foundation to ensure that precisely those who otherwise receive little visibility can be seen and connect with one another. Where do you see the future of the project?

JR: Well, we have plenty of ideas. Part of our plans for the future definitely includes queer housing—in other words, “Rainbow 3.0—the House.”
VR: At the network level, we also want to reach out to our network partners and perhaps offer continuing education courses for nursing staff at some point. Sure, it’s starting small for now. But it’s a great opportunity, and the participants were very grateful right from the very first meeting. And that’s when you realize it was worth it and that you did everything right.
JR: And then you just feel like continuing on different levels. It won’t be boring.

If you are interested in the project, please feel free to contact us:
Rainbow 3.0
Email: info@awo-ol-regenbogen.de
Phone: 04 41/36 10 59 72