Three parents. Three periods of parental leave. Three experiences.

Women who are currently pregnant or hoping to have children may sometimes ask themselves, “Children and a career—how is that supposed to work?” From what colleagues say, it seems like there’s this big lie about work-life balance, while for others, everything seems to run like clockwork. Anyone who wants to balance parenthood and a career should start thinking early on about how to organize family life—and especially the initial period after the birth. There is no one-size-fits-all model, and there are many ways to divide parental leave between parents—even without considering parental benefits. Three stories* about why and how parents plan their parental leave:

“Everyone said, ‘Why don’t you stay home as a mother?’”

Parental leave: 12 months and 6 weeks of leave.

Yula and Finn, both 32 years old. Yula has been self-employed for two years, and just as her business is really taking off, she becomes pregnant. It’s immediately clear to Finn and her: Dad will stay home for the first year. Finn is employed and is therefore eligible for parental leave; Yula could take time off, but her small business has been her dream for years, and a lengthy break would set her back significantly after all the time and effort she has invested.

“The decision was actually pretty easy, even though I’d always imagined my first year with my own child would be different. Many people around us didn’t understand the decision. They said that, as a mother, I should be taking care of my child. Now that the little one is here and I see how close the bond is between him and Finn, I’m really glad we made that choice. I can do a lot of my work from home, and I’m flexible enough that I can still be there for Finn during his first year. And I really feel like I can have it all: a small family and my own little business.”

“So I had to scale back on my parental leave—I just couldn’t afford to do otherwise.”

Parental leave: 16 months and 6 months.

Sina, 35, and Tara, 40. Sina and Tara recently bought a house. When they do become pregnant, the family’s financial situation is so strained that only one of them can take an extended leave from work.

Tara says: “In addition to the mortgage, we’re both still paying off our BaföG debts. It was clear to us when we decided to buy the house that we’d be in a tight spot financially if one of us had to quit our job. But that also meant that Sina took 12 months of parental leave. We really had to make that decision based purely on our incomes; otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to make ends meet right now. I only took parental leave for the first two months after the birth, alongside Sina, so she wouldn’t have to handle everything on her own during those first few weeks. After her first birthday, we’ll both go back to work part-time for four months to help ease the transition to daycare. In a few years, when our daughter starts school, I’d really like to take parental leave again for a while. We should be able to afford it by then, and I’d love to be there for her more closely during that transition.”

“She should spend as much time at home as possible.”

Parental leave: 12 months each.

Cleo, 28, and Umut, 29. When Umut and Cleo were expecting their first child, they both say they did nothing but argue at first. They would have been incredibly happy, but suddenly Cleo, in particular, started having a lot of fears. Cleo works as a preschool teacher herself and sees every day how hard it is, especially for the youngest children, to adjust to a new environment.

“Of course, things could have been very different for us, but it was clear to me from the start that my child shouldn’t go to daycare until he or she could at least speak a little and communicate!” Umut, on the other hand, knows from his parents that they both went back to work relatively quickly. “Once we decided to go to couples counseling and finally had a space to talk about our fears in peace, we stopped arguing pretty quickly and found a solution. Our little one will be cared for at home for the first two years—that is, I’ll stay home during her first year and Umut during her second. After that, we both plan to continue working part-time for now and see how we can divide up the work at home. I really think that’s a good solution for the three of us.”

8 Facts About Parental Leave

Every parent is entitled to up to three years of parental leave per child until the child turns 8.
You do not receive a salary during parental leave, but you can apply for up to 14 months of basic parental allowance or up to 28 months of Parental Allowance Plus.
There is a binding period covering the child’s first 24 months of life. This means that parents must decide how they want to divide parental leave during the first two years.
Parental leave can be divided into up to three periods.
During parental leave, you are allowed to work at least 15 hours and no more than 32 hours per week. The salary is reduced in proportion to the reduced number of hours.
There is special protection against termination during parental leave.
Before taking parental leave, you are entitled to an interim performance review.
There is no right to return to the same position after parental leave.

Sources and additional information can be found, among other places, on the BMFSFJ’s family portal. You’ll also find a parental allowance calculator here.

* The testimonials are fictional and are based on the day-to-day practical experiences of our expert advisors.